Enthusiasm
Enthusiasm: 15 January 2024
I’m not sure why I thought I could get any writing done at the ice rink. I wrangled the three-sided ice-walkers onto and off the ice, helped kids tie/retie/get new skates, held/returned clothing layers, and chanced snippets of advice. I was really tempted to try my ankles at skating, but probably the only reason I’m typing this now is because I declined and therefore still have use of both wrists and all phalanges. My glory days on a Wisconsin lake are long past.
Was this the best way to commemorate an American hero—taking kids ice skating? Arguably not. However, given Dr. King’s emphasis on desegregating swimming pools, I think there is a direct causal line from his conscience pricking, nonviolent activism to the glorious array of skin tones gliding on the ice in Greenville, South Carolina, this afternoon. Am I celebrating how far we’ve come? Or hiding under platitudes the long race we still must run? Politics is always both.
I’ll confess to starting off a little grumpy about the whole ice-skating thing. I needed to write an essay!
Instead, I helped lace up boots, steadied my kids onto the ice and tried, unsuccessfully, to get out of other people’s way. I looked longingly at the bleachers. I hadn’t budgeted to rent the ice-walkers, but it became apparent that the whole investment of tickets and rental skates would be compromised without immediate intervention. Emma and her friend sped off with the walkers and, by the end of our time, gained enough confidence to forego them. Jack attacked the ice and it fought right back.
Soon enough I was wiping tears from my eyes at the hilarity of watching my normally graceful, balanced, athletic son windmilling his arms and legs like a cartoon character before executing spectacular crashes that miraculously involved only himself. He bounced up grinning from falls that would have sent me to the hospital. And finally, seeing the three of them laughing together, pink with cold and exertion, I mentally smacked my forehead and told myself to offer up some enthusiasm. What a gift of a day. What a gift of children!
Enthusiasm is the awful star word I got this year on Epiphany. I think it’s telling that I saw the word Enthusiasm and immediately thought, “Oh no.”
Looking back, I can’t remember ever liking my star word, not at first. I’m always hoping for some kind of comfort, some harbinger that the new year will be a little easier than the last. One year I’d like my star word to be Sloth. Or Okay. Or Baseline. Something without the sting of challenge.
But enthusiasm? Sigh. I’m not an enthusiastic person. I’m an even-keel without swings of emotion person. And the thought of a year of generating enthusiasm struck me as exhausting. I have to keep on with everything I’m doing *and* be enthusiastic about it, too? Sheesh.
After getting my word I went for a walk, and after some galumphing I remembered that, actually, I’m very enthusiastic about a bunch of things right now. My immediate, knee-jerk reaction—the defensive stance I’ve developed to keep from overcommitting my emotional self—groused that 2024 was asking me to add enthusiasm to duty. But my after-a-deep-breath reaction was one of gratitude to be reminded of all my joy. I’m feeling an abundance of enthusiasm about my job. I’m delighted and charmed by my children. I’m feeling proud of and hopeful for my congregation. I’m so grateful that Mark’s health is good. All the big things are swimming along nicely. Lighten up, sister!
More reflection: Enthusiasm is different from Enthusiastic. It would, I think, be unrealistic to ask someone to be enthusiastic for most of the year. But Enthusiasm, well, that’s more of a stance toward life. It’s an eagerness, an openness, a begin-with-yes attitude. This, now. This will be a good challenge for me. I tend toward more of a begin-with-I-don’t-know-yet-let-me-think attitude.
After church yesterday, Jack drove us to Costco. What were we thinking? It’s on the busiest street and we went during the busiest time of a holiday weekend. We narrowly avoided causing a couple of wrecks, thanks mainly to other observant drivers, parked, and joined the masses. Somewhere between the frozen blueberries and Kleenex, Jack and Emma pounced on me with the idea of ice skating. “And we could bring friends! And the one on Main Street closes tomorrow for the season so we should go today! And it would be so fun! Pleeeeeease? Please please please please?” Logistics got tangled quickly with who could invite whom and who could drive and when people were available.
“No. Get out of the aisle. Excuse us. Sorry. Where’s Daddy?”
“Could you pick up these friends if we go? We could buy tickets online.”
“No.”
“Aww, you’re just saying that because you don’t want to think about it.”
“That’s correct. Where’s Daddy? Did you find a sweater?”
Finally, Jack said to Emma, “Stop asking. We should leave her alone for a while. Come on.” And they scampered off. Jack was right. If they spring quick decisions on me, I generally just say no. Especially in the midst of a crowd while maneuvering a heavy cart and why in the world can’t I find vegetable broth?
But once home (Jack did better driving home), I calmed down and they regrouped and eventually, we did figure out where and when and with whom they could ice skate. Which is how I ended up today with a backpack and cold hands defending our walkers and crying laughing at Jack’s acrobatic flailing. I told him he should get the hang of skating before he tried going so fast. He rolled his eyes and said, “Going fast is fun. Falling is fun! I really want to slam into someone!” I warned him to save the slamming for wrestling, but as I was saying it, I recalled asking a friend why he had played football in high school and he immediately answered, “because I wanted to hit things.” Enthusiasm!
Enthusiasm is a great stance, a wonderful attitude toward life. It’s a really good goal for me. But here is what’s holding me back from the full embrace of Enthusiasm as my 2024 star word: Politics.
Politics in 2024 feels like the busiest store on the busiest street during the busiest time of the busiest season and everyone already loaded for bear and too many people dying to light the first fuse.
I fervently believe in democracy. I believe in bringing our true selves and our best thoughts together and working through the challenges that arise in any group (family, congregation, institution, government). I believe in everyone’s voice being heard and nobody getting everything they want because we compromise on the best balance of competing needs at this moment in time. And then we keep evolving. I believe that our Constitution is a precious living document which, paradoxically, can only remain valuable as it evolves to reflect and protect our changing society. This is the hope and the promise of the United States of America.
But much of what I see in the USA in 2024 is the politics I despise: politics as blood sport, as sensationalism, as a vehicle for hitting people.
I worry about us. I pray that we curb our desire to hit. I encourage us to be involved, to speak our truth, to bring our openhearted selves to the conversation. Don’t get overwhelmed, don’t let anger take over. Stay present, stay grounded. And may we approach the year with Enthusiasm: eager openness, even though we may fall.
As the photo says: Pull hard. Seriously, just pull. Full speed ahead, arms flying, getting up with laughter, making sure not to hit anyone.
